If you ain't Dutch....

I have always been fairly proud of my Dutch ancestry.  I don't really know why other than I think we have some successful traits. Even some traits that others may hold against us can be thought of in this way.
 I give you stubborn and cheap as two good examples.  I am confident my obstinance makes me a very difficult person to live with from time to time. I am equally confident, that my habit of continuing to try in the face of failure, brings me great rewards. When something is really important to me, I am simply too stubborn to admit defeat.
For me, it's a little easier to see being cheap as a positive trait, maybe because the world is so dollar centric? Regardless, I claim this as my own as well.
As I wrote this, I realized that these two traits actually combined to provide a third much more positive trait.  I think I am also quite resourceful as a result of being cheap and stubborn.
Although all of that may have seemed like just John beating his chest, it's really just the intro for this project I did last week.
One of the things I inherited from mom and dad when I bought their house was an extendable aluminum pole/handle that could be used with paint rollers or brooms etc. It extends to almost 18 feet and has been used many times around the house since I acquired it.  Last year, it broke while I was using it with a push broom for sweeping the driveway.

As you can see, the narrow threaded part broke off the end. Well most non-dutch would be sad and throw the handle away, not this guy. The minute it happened, I thought fuck...oh, but I can fix that. I carefully stored the broken piece where I could find it later. Last week, I wanted to use it again, so I went at it.
The method I used was my second idea, but it turned out great. Have a look.

I had to drill both sides to fit the expansion bolt, but I'm positive it is stronger now than when it was new. I purchased no material as I had the bolt laying around. It took me approx 20 minutes from start to finish. These handles retail over 100 bucks!  Can you tell I'm proud! Of my stubborn determination, my cheapness, and most of all, resourcefulness! Some of these things stereotypically Dutch!
Ok, time to get back to today's title. I'm sure most of you have heard ... "wooden shoes, wooden head, wouldn't listen" or, "cheaper than a dutchman" or perhaps the joke? "How was copper wire invented?" ..."it was two dutchman fighting over a penny!"
Anyhow, I really like the punchline that follows today's title.
If you ain't dutch, you ain't much!

"There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot."
Scott Adams

Love Holij

Value

I place value on almost anything. I was cleaning the garage today. Its just a dirt floor so, not clean. I heard a noise that alerted me to something under one of my feet. It was a kind of a metal sound, like coins falling on a hard surface. I looked and couldn't see anything, so I started searching by just moving one foot slightly above the ground, in the area. Eventually, I heard the sound again and pinpointed its precise location. I bent over to feel around and came up with about half of a wire coat hanger. It was still solid, but quite rusty. It has obviously been bent into a specific shape to use as a tool or fetch of some form. My first thought once I identified it was "oh, I can use that!".
For some reason, this caused me to wonder if that relates to my ability to be happy? Or, maybe not? Maybe it's just a sign of the hoarder in me?  After a brief internal struggle, I folded it up and threw into the garbage. I'm sure the other half is hanging on a screw beside my tool box, bent into some other useful tool shape!

Forgiveness isn't just the absence of anger. I think it's also the presence of self-love, when you actually begin to value yourself.
Tara Westover

Love Holij

All things have beauty

I walked the dogs this afternoon, around our block and through a familiar path to the next block.  There is an older woman who lives beside the path who always has the most awesome garden.  I have walked this path hundreds of times and always enjoy checking it out. It is obvious that she puts a lot of effort into it.
As is often the case, the sight of this beautiful garden moves me. I cannot help but feel a wonderful sense of joy and peace. It's almost as if I can commune with the flowers. i don't know how better to describe it. It's has been a few hours now and I'm still high!
That's it! I feel incredibly fortunate!

...but not everyone sees it!"
Confucious
Today's quote started in the title in case u didn't get it.
Love Holij

Outdoors

I find myself at this moment, sitting on my back deck. My back is toward the house so I have a great view of my back yard.  I tend to think that my back yard is a great view all on its own!
So I'm sitting here drinking coffee, by myself. Normally I would have music playing, but I'm so lazy, I haven't even made the 10-step journey over to where the radio is to turn it on. In case you are wondering, how did he get his coffee? My lovely and talented wife delivered it to me.
What strikes me is just how peaceful it is to look at nature! I suspect it has something to do with having grown up on a farm, or having been offspring of people who grew up on farms?  When I look over my "kingdom" so to speak, I am awestruck! I have had this view for a number of years now, and not only does it never get old, it continues to improve with age! I am so fortunate that I have the opportunity to sit here and be amazed at all the beauty that surrounds me. The beauty may seem everyday or ordinary to lots of people, but I somehow feel great pleasure communing with it.
I guess I lied about being alone.

"Looking at flowers, simple things in life. I don't need to look at gold and a castle; sometimes its very simple things that are very beautiful. I am keeping my eyes fresh to find beauty in many places, and in gold, too, sometimes!"

Francois Nars

Love holij

Even Terry sang today

Not bad for a couple of choir boys from Fergus!

"Singing is like a celebration of oxygen."
Bjork

Love Holij

I sang a lot today

Was a day that nobody can have too many of. I'm working on a back yard project, and the journeyman I'm working for totally knows what he's doing.  On top of that, he and I think enough alike that when I have questions, his answers just seem to make sense!  The odd time that I come up with a good idea, he quickly adpots it, and continues to lead.  We worked late into the evening yesterday and accomplished a lot.  In spite of the cold rain this morning, he showed up after breakfast, ready to go.  His pay for doing this is nothing but the joy of leading this old apprentice. I just wonder now if he even realizes that!

I could go on, but I bet you know I'm talking about my brother Terry.  He inspires me to be a better person.  When the chips are down, I want to be on the same side he is!

"There is no success you can celebrate more than the success of a brother."
 Diego Luna

Love Holij

Belief

I love Elly's idea about things not needing to be wrapped up, so here is an unfinished thought.  I may or may not follow up!

I think, that when I say I think something, what I am really saying is that I believe that something, whatever it is.
I think that bringing to the forefront, or spending any time on limiting my belief about a particular subject is totally counterproductive to producing that thing or bringing it to life..  Especially if I really want that thing or feeling.
Religious people will call it faith, and although I have no use for any kind of organized religion, I can see the value in believing that anything is possible.
I suspect most of you don't know that I am an extremist!  Not in the sense that we hear about everyday on the news mind you.  I am an extremist of positive thoughts.  So much so, that my rantings can often offend others who are not me.  I have noticed this more as I try to become more aware of my own failings and work on them.  In one sense, I think my children are the biggest sufferers of my extremism, but when I write that, it makes me wonder.  Are they suffering now for some form of payback in the future?  That may be a bit of a pipe dream, but I am going to think on it some more.  I found this definition of extremism online, and chose it because is best suits my purpose.
"activities (beliefs, attitudes, feelings, actions, strategies) of a character far removed from the ordinary."
(I feel compelled to tell you that even looking up this definition made me honestly wonder....is big brother watching?  I know just enough about technology to not underestimate the surveillance state we live in these days, but that is a whole other blog)
Sorry, back to beliefs.  I have such an aversion to focus on anything that could be the least bit negative, that I often come across as uncaring or unsympathetic.  When someone tells me they are feeling sick, I have learned to show a bit of empathy, but immediately respond with a comment about what else they should be thinking about.  "I feel really shitty this morning"...."oh that sucks...don't think about it, start thinking about good things, any good things....puppies, children playing, beautiful sunshine, the love you share with family, breathing, smiling, talking, walking, anything that helps make you feel good".  I am well aware that this will do nothing to erase the fact that they have the flu, or drank too much last night or are suffering some other malaise.  I do think (believe) that regardless of said malaise and it's realities, consciously committing to think those nice things will improve anyone's outlook, and by extension, lessen their suffering.

"It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen."
Muhammad Ali

Love Holij

Value

Sorry for my absence lately.  I have been rolling over in my mind how or if this is adding value to my life, or anyone else's for that matter.
I have been quite surprised by the time commitment required.  There is the odd time that what I want to say just seems to flow from the keyboard. It has been far more common unfortunately that I get a good start, but can't figure out how to tie it all up into something that makes sense.  I do have some subjects I have been working on but they are not ready yet.  One of my challenges is the outdoors, which happens to be one of the aforementioned subjects.  If I can stay comfortable, (warm) I much prefer to be outdoors, usually doing something, and that leaves little time for blogging.
I will try to find time if I can come up with something that I think has value.

"Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value."
Albert Einstein

Love Holij

Judgement

Many of you know this, but my family and I live in a fairly small house.  Just under 1000 sq ft to give some reference.  The four of us manage quite well though, and I keep telling Linda, soon the girls will be gone and then the house will be big!
The girls often have guests, sometimes overnight, but even then, for the most part, we manage to share the space. Obviously, once in a while though, the close quarters sometimes frazzle a few nerves.  It's very interesting to me, sometimes I am able to just observe the interactions between others and my mind is always analyzing the scene.  We all have our own baggage to carry around and nobody is exempt from this.  This baggage often comes to the fore when the stress of the small space overwhelms.  We all tend to react with our own habitual biases, and sometimes this makes for interesting conversations to say the least.  We all do our best regardless, and for the most part, I think we have a pretty comfortable home.  Oh did I forget to mention, the girls guests often bring four legged friends with them!  This is our three regulars, Oscar, JJ, and boots, as well as the big galute Kub.  Missing from this pic is another regular, Baxter, who is about the same size as Oscar.  With this crew, it sometimes feels more like a zoo than a house, but they are all well behaved.  Well at least the four legged ones anyway! 

 If only we could all learn to judge others just like this crew does!  Always happy to see you, never complain about your bad habits and always ready with unconditional love and kisses!  I grew up learning Dad's bias against dogs, but have recently gotten to know these guys, and my life is fuller as a result.

"Because of the dog's joyfulness, our own is increased. It is no small gift. It is not the least reason why we should honor as love the dog of our own life, and the dog down the street, and all the dogs not yet born."
Mary Oliver

Love Holij

Sisters

Had an awesome visit with Elly today.  If it was a few degrees warmer, we would have sat in the sun on the deck.  Regardless, we visited for what was far too short time.  I've learned a lot from her over the years, and today was no exception.  I always enjoy spending time with her, and for that matter, all my sisters.

"My sisters are my favorite people on earth. "
Ryan Phillippe

Love Ho

Control

I am not sure what made me think of this, but I realized I can maintain my composure under almost any circumstance.  I think I learned a while ago that staying cool, no matter the situation, helps your decision making under difficult or emotional times.  After I learned that, I started practising so that now, there is basically nothing that makes me panic.  I just realized, that may be a bit of the control freak in me, but in this case it is a benefit to be in control.  I guess that's what I'm really saying is that I'm always in control of my mind. 
I think if I can do it, so can anyone!

"To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him."
Buddha

Love Holij

Nirvana

I think in some ways, I have become desensitized to fear, especially fear of physical pain.  I did not plan this at all, but some conversations I have had make me believe this is at least somewhat true.
I was speaking with an old acquaintance a while ago, who is familiar with my vision problems.  I was going on about triathlon or ironman, and he asked how I manage the cycling portion with my poor vision.  I can't remember the details of my response other than to say "very carefully" .  This made me actually think about how I manage it from a mental perspective.  Just fyi, in the last 6 or so years, I have put thousands of miles on my bike, almost all on open public roads, and had only 1 crash!  If you follow any kind of cycling thread online, the accepted reality of crashing is not a question of if, but when.  In this regard, I feel like I am doing quite well, and for the most part, I feel quite safe while out riding on the road.  The biggest danger that I am concerned with is actually other riders during an event.  They are somewhat less predictable than cars and trucks and go closer to the same speed as I do, so relatively, I am in close proximity for longer periods.
This brings me back to my original point.  I definitely still have fear in dangerous situations, but either my mind has learned to overcome the fear, or is just ignoring it!  I guess maybe it's sort of like a callus on your hands.  After repeated exposure to something, the skin builds up and you become less sensitive to it.  I think that's probably a good analogy.
Today's title is part of Pete's response when I had this discussion with him last year. After me relating this thought to him, he responded; "so you've become too stupid to be afraid!! You've discovered nirvana brother!!" .  I thought it was quite funny.
Just in case anyone reading this fears for my safety as a result of this story, know this.  If something happens to me when I'm out cycling, remember that it happened while I was doing something I love and I wasn't afraid.
P.S.  outdoor yoga on the deck tomorrow for anyone who feels like it.

"Living with fear stops us taking risks, and if you don't go out on the branch, you're never going to get the best fruit."
Sarah Parish

Love Holij

Omg

I was just made aware of some significant, real (not fake) news.  It's really unbelievable when you think about it. It's so significant, it's actually difficult for me to fathom!  People are panicking in the streets, unable to work or go about their daily routines.  Others are angry or upset over the news. Did you hear........
Facebook was down most of the day yesterday!
Unbelievable! I'm going to leave it at that, because I promised to keep this positive.

"Never follow the crowd"
Bernard Baruch

Love Holij

Gifts

I am not sure if any of you experience this, but I find myself constantly being presented with gifts.
Gifts of all different shapes and sizes.  Some of these gifts are very interesting, some more ordinary.  Many of these are so well disguised, they don't even appear to be gifts at all when first presented.  There are surprise gifts that I didn't expect, and others that I knew were coming for a long time. 
I was born into a stable, loving home, giving me a head start on lots of  others right off the bat.  I live in a country that guarantees relative freedom and safety.  I am fortunate enough to have a nice warm home to live in and a good job to go to every day.  I can always afford to buy groceries, not to mention lots of other frivolous things I don't even need.
The biggest and best gift I ever receive though, is that of opportunity.  Not necessarily opportunity to go somewhere, do something, or even accomplish something, but the opportunity to learn!
Almost every interaction I have with anyone presents this opportunity if I am paying attention.  Sometimes, it seems like the well disguised gifts are the only ones I get, but I know full well this is not true.  The well disguised ones usually come in the form of some trouble, heartache or ailment, but I have found that these can be far and away the best teachers.
I will give one example from my life, but I know there are thousands of the more mundane ones.  The key is paying attention and being aware, and sometimes the payout doesn't happen right away, but more slowly, even over years.
On Sept 11/1983, I was minding my own business, doing something that I love when an 82 year old lady made a small error in judgement and turned left, right in front of me and my bike.  My memories of the actual event are a bit jumbled and have some gaps for sure.  It wasn't until at least a few weeks later as I lay immobilized in a hospital bed that I rec'd an early lesson from this.  I was 20 at the time and even more full of myself than I am now, if you can imagine!  I really had no thoughts of anyone but myself.  I certainly couldn't see at the time that this horrible accident was actually much harder on those that loved me than it was on me.  After the first week or so, I came out of the drug induced stupor.  Mom and Dad visited, if not every day, almost every day from Arthur.  This is at least a 1.5 hour drive one way.  It was after a couple weeks of this, that Dad showed up on his own one day.  I didn't give it much thought until he started a conversation with me about why Mom wasn't there.  He basically told me that my attitude at the time was making it extremely painful for Mom to visit.  This was a real eye opener to me.  I thought, "you mean this isn't all about me??".  I was feeling so sorry for myself, and looking back, probably had a lot of anger at the time too.  My demeanor was that of a selfish child who had been hurt and needed to whole world to feel sorry for him.  I am happy to say, I have come a long way from that time, and I could probably write a whole book on the lessons I learned from just that one conversation, but I think you get the idea.  This same accidental gift keeps on giving to this day in the form of much greater awareness and appreciation of my physical well being, among other things. 

"Each day provides its own gifts"
Marcus Aurelius

Love Holij

Leaders and followers

I can't remember how long ago he told me this, but I have a buddy who shared this interesting theory with me and I continue to be surprised how many situations it fits.  It's very simple and goes something like this.
"The world is made up of two kinds of people, leaders and followers.  Further to this, the balance is roughly 10 percent leaders and 90 percent followers."
Now I know it's not a perfect representation of the population and there are some exceptions, but as a general rule, I find it works quite well to help explain many situations.  One of the challenges of this is the definitions of the two terms. To be clear, I will list what I think best describes my understanding of leaders and followers.
To me, leadership is somewhat of an aptitude, but can certainly be developed to a great degree. Much like an artist, anyone can be an artist, but some people are just naturally very good at it.  A leader is someone who is self motivated and driven to move, they don't wait for instruction, but rather do or learn whatever needs to be done, and do it!  Leaders are not afraid to be alone in front while they wait for followers to catch up.  Like I said, anyone can learn to be a leader, but I think the best leaders start with certain traits that are not teachable. 
Unlike leaders, I believe anyone can be a great follower.  In fact, some leadership training suggests that leaders start by learning how to follow.  Followers tend to want direction and need input from leaders before doing things.  In my experience, because of this dependence, followers tend to often be manipulated by some leaders.  Again, in my experience, they often get manipulated without even realizing it.  When I say manipulated, I don't necessarily mean something very malicious or dangerous, but more along the lines of falling for marketing gimmicks and unknowingly producing profit for others, just by following.  In today's world, a good example might be celebrity of almost any kind.  People who become famous simply by being outlandishly stupid or crazy or obnoxious often end up leading thousands of followers. It's quite bizarre to me, I don't even understand it. 

Which category do you fit in?

"A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way."
John C Maxwell

Love Holij

Habits

I think for some reason, habits have a bit of a bad reputation.  It seems to me that we most often hear of "bad habits" and very seldom do people choose to talk about Good Habits.
Well here's my attempt at changing that.
 Here is what I consider to be a pretty good definition of any habit, good or bad. 
A habit is a routine of behavior that is repeated regularly and tends to occur subconsciously.
That's a pretty simple, clear definition I think.
I have lots of habits, including some bad ones, but I am going to tell you about some of my good habits.  I'm not going to brag about having all my shit together, because I don't.  The point I really want to make about habits is that they are actually simple choices repeated until they become subconscious.  If you believe this, hopefully you can see that anyone can create a habit, or even change a bad one.
Being a responsible partner to my wife, I sometimes do household chores including laundry.  One of the little habits that I repeat without even thinking is this.  Whenever I am changing clothes and putting something in the laundry, I always make a point of keeping them right side out!  I also separate each piece of clothing from others.  For instance, my socks are kept together as a pair, but my underwear are NOT stuck inside the leg of my pants.  When I am taking off a shirt, I always pull the sleeves off from the end and just don't allow things to be inside out.  It makes sorting and folding so much easier, and it costs me nothing in time or effort.  It is just as easy to undress while keeping the clothes neat as it is to make a mess, and cause unnecessary work.  It's all about efficiency!
I also have a habit of doing the dirtiest or hardest part of any job first.  If I have a workout planned, it is far easier to follow through and have a good workout if I start first thing in the morning.  Then after I am done, I can relax with a coffee knowing I have already done my hard work for the day.  This may seem strange, but I often take this habit even a bit further, some may say to the level of compulsion.  I tend to do everything in the order of "least liked" first.  When I eat a sandwich, I always start by eating all the crust first so I can savour the nice soft fresh body last.  Same goes for pizza, I eat the crust first!  When I am cleaning the bathroom, I start with the shower because it is the largest most time consuming part of the job, followed by the toilet and finish with the easiest, the vanity.  
I don't have a problem with any of this stuff.  For instance, if something happened that my clothes got mixed up or turned inside out, it doesn't bother me at all.  I just have the habit of making sure they don't get that way in the first place.
These are some pretty tame examples of habits, and I haven't done a great job of making my point, but I firmly believe that anyone can create positive lasting habits for themselves.  More importantly, I also believe that anyone can change or replace bad or counterproductive habits with good ones.  The only requirement is the desire to change.  The key is, one small step at a time.


"Successful people are simply those with successful habits."
Brian Tracy 

Love Holij

Communication Breakdown

I like to think of myself as a good communicator.  I have made lots of mistakes in the past, but I have tried to pay attention and learn from them.  I basically communicate for a living, and once in a while, my boss even tells me I am the best. For obvious reasons, I choose to believe him.
This is all well and good until I try to have a conversation with either of my children.  Don't get me wrong, I think I have a very good relationship with both my girls, but there are times when it just seems like we aren't even speaking the same language! I am fairly confident the fault is mine, simply based on past experience.  I think one of my challenges is that I want to protect them from everything, which doesn't allow them to show how well they can take care of themselves, and I know full well they can!
Anyhow, I continue to try and I continue to improve, I'm certain.  Maybe before I'm dead we will understand each other!

"The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives"

Tony Robbins

Love Holij

Are you one of the Schomberg Rooyakkers'?

Sorry, I can't come up with anything inspirational, so you will have to settle for this funny little story. 

 Just prior to losing my driver’s license, I was working in Orangeville and living just outside of Primrose which is straight up highway 10.  Linda's brother Mike was living with us at the time, and on this particular day, I had borrowed his little pickup truck to take to work, so I could leave the car for Linda.  Mike's truck was a 5 speed standard with the shifter on the floor and was really fun to drive.  It was middle of winter, cold, and a bit windy, but the sun was shining.  It would have been around 4pm and I was on my way home from work, up highway 10.  Leaving Orangeville, there is a long straight stretch of the highway that goes up a slow incline.  As it was windy, there was a bit of very low ground drifting, but visibility was quite good.  As I left town, up this straight stretch, there were 4 or 5 cars in front of me and after we were out of town, they hardly sped up at all.  Obviously, the driver in the front was nervous and wouldn’t go over 60 kph.  After following for a few hundred meters, I saw an opportunity to pass.  I could see a long way in the distance, so I geared down, jumped on the gas and quite easily passed the whole group of cars at once.  I think I did it safely, and I don’t even think I had to speed in order to accomplish this because they were moving so slowly.  Well about 10 km further up the road, I could see in my rear view mirror, a cop with his lights flashing.  At first I thought nothing of it, but it soon became apparent he was after me.  Before he was even very close to me, I was already pulling over onto the shoulder.  As I was slowing down on the shoulder, I touched the brakes and quickly realized that the shoulder was pure ice and brakes were not a good idea.  I just put the truck in neutral and let it idle to a stop.  It was after that little scare that I looked up into the rear view mirror again and saw the cruiser in the ditch behind me!  I couldn’t believe it, and I am sure I sat for a few seconds wondering, what now?  Well, I decided to get out and walk back to where he was.  His right front wheel was completely off the roadway so he had no traction on the back at all.  He had his door open and had one foot on the ground, maybe thinking that he could push himself a bit, I am not sure.  He already had a good rut dug into the gravel of the shoulder and it was obvious he wasn’t going anywhere.  He quite angrily told me “go back and wait in your vehicle”.  I obeyed, but just as I was turning to go back to the truck, a couple of guys got out of a minivan on the other side of the highway.  I got the feeling they knew him, but regardless, they were coming over to help push him out.  I heard him say, don’t worry about it, I already called for a tow.  The two guys were undeterred by this and offered to push anyway.   I could tell there weren’t going to get anywhere, and I continued back to the truck as I was told.  I sat in the truck for 2 or 3 minutes, looking in the mirror, watching them slug their guts out, but getting nowhere.  After a few minutes, I decided I better at least make it look good and get out there and help.  I put my gloves on, got out and walked back to the cruiser, but again, I thought to myself, us three guys are not going to push this car out, and by now there was an even bigger rut under the back tire.  Well, I found a spot beside the other guys, put my shoulder into it and gave it everything I had.  Almost immediately, the car drove right out!  I couldn’t believe my luck.  I didn’t say anything.  I just turned and walked back to the truck to wait for the cop.  I watched as he said goodbye to his buddies and then came to speak with me.  He asked for my license and as soon as he saw my name, he looked at me and said, “are you one of the Schomberg Rooyakkers”?  I told him, no, they are my first cousins, but I didn’t grow up around here.  You see, our Schomberg cousins were known to be a bit of a wild bunch, had a reputation and were obviously known to the police.  I guess he believed my story, because he tossed my license back into the window at me, said “take it easy from now on” and turned and walked away.  I am pretty sure he never even said thanks for helping push him out. 

I guess this was a reminder to me that even if your interests don't necessarily align, it is always a good idea to help someone in need. 

"Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others.  Unsuccessful people are always asking, "What's in it for me?""

Brian Tracy

Love Holij

Less is more

I find myself using that line all the time.  I think I learned the concept a long time ago in reference to "making a deal".  The idea in that case was that you made your offer, usually below what you thought the product was worth, and then you waited in silence.  The silence effectively adds pressure to the other person and makes them think that is your final offer.
Well, I don't think I have ever used it in this way, but I have found it applies to so many things.  In business, I use it all the time.  Software is probably the example I use the most.  We get peoples systems in with tons of crappy software installed, and the computer just growls along almost to a halt.  Throw out most of the useless crap and the system runs as it should.
Another way this line could be used is with verbal communication.  Some of you may be familiar with the book by Dale Carnegie, "How To Win Friends And Influence People".  I think it is one of the most useful books I have ever read, and I encourage everyone to check it out, especially if you were born with the last name Rooyakkers!  One of the main ideas is that in any conversation, especially one on one, you should listen more than you speak.  Encourage the other party to talk about themselves or demonstrate their knowledge to you.  Avoid "one upping" the other person.....Oh, you broke your leg, how terrible, but I broke my leg, my arm and my nose, not to mention all at the same time while I was performing some incredible feat!!  When I first read this idea, I actually found it quite difficult to follow.  After a bit of practice though, I started paying attention and realized that I always had to hog the conversation and have the better story or bigger problem etc.  Once I started really noticing this, it was much easier to get in the groove and start prompting the other party to speak while I just listened.  I found much to my delight, that not only does this make the other party feel more appreciated and heard, after a while, I discovered that it is actually more enjoyable for me as well!  It is an ultimate win, win situation.  Its funny, since I have made this change, I also notice much more the people who haven't figured this concept out.  I doesn't bother me when I come across someone like this, I just notice it and I never try to compete.
I still catch myself once in a while making this mistake myself, but there is no doubt making the change has improved my relationships and helps people want to be around me.

"The more I see the less I know for sure"

John Lennon

Love Holij