I think in some ways, I have become desensitized to fear, especially fear of physical pain. I did not plan this at all, but some conversations I have had make me believe this is at least somewhat true.
I was speaking with an old acquaintance a while ago, who is familiar with my vision problems. I was going on about triathlon or ironman, and he asked how I manage the cycling portion with my poor vision. I can't remember the details of my response other than to say "very carefully" . This made me actually think about how I manage it from a mental perspective. Just fyi, in the last 6 or so years, I have put thousands of miles on my bike, almost all on open public roads, and had only 1 crash! If you follow any kind of cycling thread online, the accepted reality of crashing is not a question of if, but when. In this regard, I feel like I am doing quite well, and for the most part, I feel quite safe while out riding on the road. The biggest danger that I am concerned with is actually other riders during an event. They are somewhat less predictable than cars and trucks and go closer to the same speed as I do, so relatively, I am in close proximity for longer periods.
This brings me back to my original point. I definitely still have fear in dangerous situations, but either my mind has learned to overcome the fear, or is just ignoring it! I guess maybe it's sort of like a callus on your hands. After repeated exposure to something, the skin builds up and you become less sensitive to it. I think that's probably a good analogy.
Today's title is part of Pete's response when I had this discussion with him last year. After me relating this thought to him, he responded; "so you've become too stupid to be afraid!! You've discovered nirvana brother!!" . I thought it was quite funny.
Just in case anyone reading this fears for my safety as a result of this story, know this. If something happens to me when I'm out cycling, remember that it happened while I was doing something I love and I wasn't afraid.
P.S. outdoor yoga on the deck tomorrow for anyone who feels like it.
"Living with fear stops us taking risks, and if you don't go out on the branch, you're never going to get the best fruit."
Sarah Parish
Love Holij
My fears are much more of emotional pain and not physical. I think I've gone past the point you're talking about, and now realize that I'm too stupid to not be afraid. That might not have come across right, but it makes sense inside my head.
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