Yesterday I suggested that apologies are for the person
giving the apology. In my opinion, the
exact same thing applies to forgiveness.
Forgiveness benefits the person who is doing the forgiving and does
little or nothing for the person who is being forgiven. When I came to realize this, I also realized
this means that my forgiving someone should have nothing to do with weather or
not they have apologized! The one little
exception to this rule, and yesterday's, is when it comes to forgiving
yourself. Or is it? It's not really
different at all, because, if you can forgive yourself some indiscretion, you
actually get the benefit of forgiving, AND apologizing!
What I have come to believe is that forgiving yourself is
just as important if not more than forgiving anyone else. I am not completely sure why this is so
difficult for some, but I am confident it is mostly just habit. Like any other
habit, it can be changed with conscious effort.
To me, what it all comes down to is focus. If you can accept that giving, both
apologies, and forgiveness, is to YOUR benefit, and not the other party, you
will gain an incredible freedom to forgive yourself. I have found this freedom is very liberating
and does as much to improve my peace as anything.
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you"
Lewis B. Smedes
Love Holij
Words of wisdom
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