My Commute

By most peoples standards, I probably have pretty well the best commute in the world.  I can walk from my front door to the door of my office in just over 3 minutes.  If I run, I can make it in 2.  Like many other aspects of my life, it is quite idyllic.  I walk along 2 very quiet peaceful residential streets until I get to highway 6.  After I cross the highway, it is only a few steps to my work.  There are times, especially in the morning when I can just keep walking right across the highway without having to even stop for traffic.  There are other times though when it seems like the world is conspiring against me and the flow of traffic coming from one side only stops at exactly the same time as it starts in the opposite direction, and it takes forever to cross.  I will admit that, over the years, I have had a few close calls with cars that I didn't see because of my poor vision, but overall I feel fairly comfortable, even though it can be a busy road.  What I have learned to do is scan slowly from side to side as opposed to looking one way and then quickly looking the other.  Another trick that I sometimes use, is to cross the road one lane at a time.  There is a set of stop lights on the highway just past where I cross so when it is really busy in the evenings, I can often just walk between the cars that are stopped for the light on one side and then stop between the two lanes and then I only have one lane to cross.  I do have a peculiar situation that I want to tell you about.
As I mentioned, it is often busier on my walk home and that is when I have the greater challenge.  I am crossing at an intersection, but not the intersection with the lights.  When it is busy, I will walk up to the corner and start scanning, looking for my opportunity.  There have been lots of times that one of the motorists on the side closest to me will actually stop to let me proceed.  They often hold up traffic behind them, just to be courteous to me. 
Well I suspect this may surprise some of you, but this really bugs me!  Not that I don't appreciate the friendly gesture, but I feel it puts me in a very dangerous position and it scares the hell out of me.  Here is what I am thinking when this happens.  First, it takes me longer than most to realize with any confidence that they are indeed waiting for me and want me to proceed, so by the time I commit to going, they must be thinking, "hurry up buddy, I can't hold this traffic for long".  This automatically makes me think that in order to graciously accept their gift, I should get moving, much faster that I am comfortable with crossing the street.  Enough close calls has taught me, slow is better for sure.  Besides this feeling of having to rush, I am also completely uncomfortable because I have no idea what other cars may be coming from what other directions, including from the side street where I am crossing.  I have had it once or twice when I thought someone was stopping for me, only to realize at the last second that they were actually stopped to allow the traffic beside me from the side street to get onto the highway, and only avoided being hit by pure luck.  This may sound strange, but I feel that when someone stops and motions me to cross the road in front of them, they are actually taking, no, stealing my responsibility for myself from me.  They are in effect saying, it's OK for you to cross the street, when they are only controlling one lane of four potential lanes of the intersection.  Even though they are saying this with their actions, they cannot guarantee me safe passage and it is still my responsibility to navigate the rest of the crossing.  One time, after he motioned me to cross, a younger guy in a pickup truck actually shouted at me after I crossed.  "Hey, don't say thanks or nothing"  He was angry that I just got the hell out of the way and didn't take the time to acknowledge his good deed.  Hilarious to stop for someone and then get angry when they don't say thanks, but then I guess he didn't realize I feared for my life.
Please don't get me wrong, I am not asking anyone to feel sorry for me, I just thought you may find the different point of view interesting.
 
"A little perspective, like a little humor, goes a long way."
 Allen Klein

Love Holij