I am not trying to brag, so please try to read on.
I can remember being one of the first few people in my grade one class who was able to read basic words with relative ease. I don't ever remember struggling with any subject at all through grade school, and if there was a timed test or assignment, I would never run out of time. I remember once in grade 7 or 8, Crow, (Sister Mary Lourdes) decided to punish me for something by giving me two or three pages of math problems. I am pretty sure I hid my laughter because it was so easy, I actually found it fun! I'm not trying to torture anyone who struggles with math, but it always came fairly easy to me and that is probably why I always enjoyed it. In high school, the cutoff mark for being exempt from writing final exams was 70 percent. Back then, I needed 27 courses to graduate, and I know for a fact that I was required to write 2 exams total. I never did any homework at home. If there was anything that had to be done, I would do it during brief pauses in class, or breaks, or while I waited for the bus. The 2 exams were only as a result of some serious lack of attention as things were so easy, I was getting bored. I have always, until fairly recently at least, had quite a good memory. Later, when I eventually went to college and applied myself, I got even better grades, again with relative ease. For those of you who are cursing me now, let me get to the point. All this scholarly advantage has led me into a personal trap that I struggle with today.
I developed the habit of always being right! At least of always thinking I was right, even when I wasn't. That along with my stubborn Dutch heritage has helped me to become arrogant and dismissive of others ideas, just because they were not my own...that can't be the best way to do it, because I never thought of that! I can remember years ago, as an adult, having a conversation that turned into an argument, because I couldn't, wouldn't back down on what I knew was right, even after I started to have internal doubts about what I was trying to prove. Imagine, having a discussion about something and in the middle of it, you realize your position is not correct, but you are unable to admit to the other party for fear of being wrong!
The real problem this has caused is needless arguments and friction with bosses, employees, friends and loved ones.
It has only been more recently that I have become aware of this at all and that has lead me to start trying to correct it. One of my staff actually pointed it out to me and then more recently, a conversation with my family confirmed it for me. It has been quite a revelation for me, but fortunately, I think I am already making progress to try to correct this. Another person with the same affliction even taught me a little trick to allow me to extricate myself from one of these situations with a bit of grace. He told me, all you have to say is "your probably right". This allows me to hang on to whatever idea I believe to be correct, while at the same time giving the other party the belief that they are correct. No losers right! Well, not really. I have caught myself using this a fair bit, but now believe it is really not much of an improvement at all. Every time I catch myself using this, I now immediately rethink what I am saying and try to react appropriately.
All this has lead me to the realization that at age 55, I am NOT always right, and I DON'T know everything!
That's it, that's all I was trying to say.
"I've occasionally been wrong about certain things, which is
in a way more delightful than being right."
Jaron Lanier
Love Holij
I'm still thinking about this one...
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