Legacy

I often make notes for myself when I am in a reflective mood.  The other day I was thinking  about my life and what I've done with it.  Sometimes I think that my thoughts can be in two completely different places at the same time. For instance, I always want to improve, mostly myself, but generally my lot in life as well. At the same time, I am almost always satisfied and comfortable with myself and where I am. I'm wondering if that is one little key to my peace?  Somehow this ability to host two different, almost contradictory thoughts simultaneously helps bring about this peace. I do from time to time emphasize one of these over the other, but generally for me, they stay quite balanced.  I'm confident that my constant practise of controlling the things I think about is at least partially responsible for this balance. One small example for me may be this.
 Like many people, parenthood has always posed challenges for me. When my girls were younger, I felt it was my responsibility to do whatever it took to make sure they were taken care of physically. The time and energy I put into this meant there wasn't much of me left to actually spend quality time with them. I suppose that is one regret I have to live with. I forgive myself right now though because of this competing thought. When I think of what my legacy is going to be, I need only think of my children to be completely satisfied. Like everyone, they have their own struggles, but if I compare them to myself, I can quickly see they are better in every way! Right off the bat, they are fortunate to have some of their mom's looks, and after 30 plus years she (their mom) still turns me on whenever I look at her!  Not to mention, they are both smarter than I am, they have an incredible work ethic, and they have created opportunities for themselves that I never had.  If something were to happen and I was dead tomorrow, oh well. I already know I have left the world better off than when I arrived just by virtue of these beautiful intelligent women I call my daughters.

"I think daughters can change the perception of their fathers."
Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Love Holij